What alternative do kids have to their “devices”…..

Ya know, a lot of older folks, me included, give kids these days a lot of heat for spending too much time on their “devices”….and I know, I know….it’s the pandemic and there’s not much you can do right now – but this was considered a problem in our society long before COVID-19 came on the scene….but I really do wonder if we give our kids any real opportunity to do stuff that doesn’t involve their devices. Maybe we – as the adults who are running society – are not giving kids much to do where they get to spend time just being kids.

I’ll tell you what I mean….when my daughter was young, like around 5-6 years old, I wanted to teach her to ice skate. So, I checked with the local arena to see when I could take her and I found out there was exactly one slot for public skating – it was Sunday afternoons and it was a measly two hours. I took her and taught her to skate but it was wildly overcrowded and not much fun….I asked the local recreation director why there was only two hours of public skating a week….he told me that hockey and figure skating paid the bills….they got the ice time….I was absolutely staggered and wrote a number of columns in the local paper suggesting this was a problem but it never really went anywhere….it’s like that still….

When I was a young guy growing up in Hanover, there were four or five slots a week for public skating….it was where most kids in town went to hang out – and there were no parents…..there were absolutely no parents….and, man, those were fun times. And when the ice went out in the spring, there was roller skating four or five times a week through the spring and summer….and, again, pretty well every young person in town was there almost every available night because it was what you did – you hung out with your friends. And after skating, it was off down to Norm’s Restaurant for Coke and fries…no parents there either. No texting. No phones. Just kids….

You know, I can remember sitting around with my buddies when we were teenagers and complaining endlessly that there was nothing to do it town….gawd, it was boring growing up in Nowheresville – which was what we called the old hometown. But, in reality, there was a huge whack of stuff to do. There was indeed roller and ice skating, but there was also a bowling alley, a pool room, a theatre and a drive-in – and there were tons of dances, both at school and other venues, with great bands. There were a couple of restaurants in town that openly welcomed teenagers to come and “hang out” – or at least that’s the way it seemed. Both Norm’s and Paul’s Grill and Tea Room were filled with teenagers at various points in the week. We swam in the lakes and rivers, hung out at the railway tracks and most of the churches in town had youth groups that ran events. There was, for sure, lots of stuff to do.

I feel sorry for young people today where we have created a world where everything is organized for our children – whether it’s sports or arts or anything, we don’t give kids a chance to sort of improvise in life – we try to teach kids how to be creative and innovative when we don’t understand that just letting them find their own way is the best course. 

Back in the mythical Sixties, that decade of peace, love and violence, it was like our parents didn’t love us as much or something. I mean, they basically just sent us out into the world to sink or swim – most of the ones I knew anyway. When I was 18 and I announced I was going hitchhiking, my Dad didn’t try to talk me out of it….he gave me two bucks and said have a good time. I don’t remember him seeming worried in the least. And when I was on the road, there was no practical way to check in, so I sort of just disappeared for a while, then showed up back at their door a while later. Again, when I announced I was moving out of the house to live in a dilapidated, run-down farmhouse with a bunch of other musicians and we were going to be rock stars, he wished me luck….

Different world these days – that’s what everybody keeps telling me….had a friend ask me the other day why so many of today’s young people are having mental health issues. I think it’s because they’re not as mentally “tough” as previous generations because they’ve been coddled and pampered too much…..as much as parents these days worry about children’s self esteem, life really doesn’t give a shit about people’s self esteem….and it beats the beejeezus out of most folks. And if you’re not mentally tough, you crumple and fold….which is what’s happening a lot.

Maybe if we created the spaces for kids to be kids and to interact with other kids in a type of kid-world – the way we used to, it would be better for them….we have to create those spaces – that’s our job as adults and parents. Don’t blame kids for spending all their time on devices if there’s nothing else for them to do. And that’s the world we’ve created for our most precious resource.